A friendly observation

My best friend recently left overseas for a bit of soul-searching and to gain I guess the worldliness that opens up your mind and ideally your life.

I am yet to go on my little adventure yet and won't be for a while. I am resisting the urge to be a homebody and get out and try new things, new countries, but have successfully managed to put as many obstacles in my own path as possible, the old favourite "career" sticks its head in at this stage letting me know it's not a good time to leave, to try get a leg up over everyone who essentially treds career water while they're overseas exploring famous landmarks and pashing foreigners.

I have basically given myself a deadline until next year, after a particular event, that I will leave after that, if I leave it any longer then I'll quite simply be too old. It's odd that this date looms like a cloud when it should be more like light at the end of the tunnel. I do want to go overseas but perhaps it's my hopelessness in logistical matters - what gate number? which bus route? - that is putting me off which seems somewhat pathetic I know, but a concern I do have.

I guess it's the fear that if you go overseas in the search for yourself and come back with nothing more than what you left with, then what was the point? The old what if creeps in and the idea of regret pains me, no moreso than the guaranteed regret I'll feel if I don't go overseas and instead make the assumption that it wouldn't of made a difference to my life path anyway.

Now, I am not religious, but I do believe our paths are roughly set out for us however I have the self-despising trait of far too many girls in thinking far too much and over-analyzing the unnecessary.

The weird thing is, the one thing I haven't thought much about at all, which almost means it's made up it's own mind on the matter and doesn't require analysis, it is not sitting on the fence in any way, is that I don't miss my best friend at all.

That said, I think I've just opened up another can of worms. My best friend is gone and she barely crosses my mind. Why on earth not?